One of my dearest friends tagged me in one of those fun fact posts which everybody used to do before Facebook came along. Now everybody just stalks profiles to get the info.
So here it is with some minor adjustments.
1. Each person must post 5 things about themselves in their journal. You can use these five facts for the many icebreakers you'll encounter in your life. Or for the cats for the socially awkward.
2. Answer the questions the tagger set for you in their post. Sarcasm is a bonus (though not too much; people don't like smartasses). Create eleven new questions for the people you tag to answer. You can pretend they're your daughter's new boyfriend. Grill 'em. Grill 'em till the brain juices start flowing.
3. You have to choose 11 people to tag and post their icons on your journal. Because they're special. They're your starter Pokemon.
4. No tag backs. Only tag "forts".
5 Things about myself
- I have a scar on my left shin from playing hide and seek. When I was seven, I thought hiding underneath a bed filled with sharp things was a good idea. It was not.
- I like to sing in public. In my head, I'm a rockstar. Out there, I'm the girl who makes cats cry and people want to throw rotten vegetables at.
- I don't know how to swim properly. I took a few lessons when I was twelve with a bunch of six year olds and my little brother, but didn't stay long enough to learn how to dive. So if one day I land in the ocean without a lifejacket, I'm screwed.
- I have a love/hate relationship with tomatoes. Some days they're the best thing in the world where I'd eat one like an apple, other times, I don't want them on my plate.
- Sometimes, I get so caught up imagining random scenarios that I don't pay attention to the real world. Feel free to poke me in the back to get me started again.
Pants or shorts? Shorts.
One potato or two potato? Three potato, four. I see we've listened to the same childhood songs, Michi.
What's your signature move? Roundhouse kick to the face.
Favorite video game? Legend of the Dragoon and Pokemon.
What characters in an anime or book or whatever have pissed you off so much you want to punch them in the balls? Sae from Peach Girl. The other villains make me laugh.
Favorite OTP? Megamind and Roxanne. For some reason I can't think of a sassier couple than them.
To my friends,
I'm sorry I haven't been a good friend to you. I'm hiding because I don't want you to think less of me. And it's very lonely, but I've been putting my pride above you. It's why I don't answer your messages, it's why we have shallow but fun conversations. I keep hoping you'll still be there by the time I get my shit together.
I have grown to understand how little I knew and how much I learned since I've known you whether or not we're still friends with the way time carries on. I've learned that all my insecurities don't matter in the grand scheme of things. That is not to say they are insignificant, but it takes me some time to remember love. Every time I want to give up, I think of how much love I've been blessed with and how much love I want to bring to the world. Because the world can be very cruel. Even the best people have their bad moments. I'm very blessed to have people who love me with my imperfections.
The things I fucked up are on me. I keep looking for sympathy instead of pulling up my pants and getting things done.
I guess the point of this post is that I still think about you all even if we haven't talked in years. You've taught me so much and we've had a lot of good times.
I used to think of love as a finite thing. That you had only so much love in your heart to give that I would get extremely jealous when love seemed to be taken away from me. I thought that person no longer cared about me. I'd search for evidence, and the sickness would spread. And whether or not it was true, I'd make it true. I would do certain things to distance people. So people wouldn't love me anymore. I wanted to make myself matter as little as possible. Then a few days later, I'd be starving for love. It never occurred to me that I should love myself first. I would go back and forth a lot. It was fucked up.
I just hope the next time we meet is when I'm at my best.
(The snake bit its tail in hopes of being immortal. An infinite loop without an end. The snake remained this way for almost a month. But on the twenty-third day, everything unraveled. The snake laughed at its foolishness.)